I like to imagine these two dated.

This is also him

Middle-aged magical girl.

She's been defending the Earth since the early 90s and she's very tired.

My name is Tominaga Haruka. I was chosen by a magical talking animal, and for the last 29 years I've been Earth's one and only... Wonder-Sparkle Princess.

she's been fighting the same villains for three decades and they are also tired of it. Most of them aren't giving it their all.
Half of them are in a groupchat they've added her to where they schedule their evil plans to make sure they don't interfere with each other, or more importantly, with *her*

Xalkrax the space demon from outer space decided to attack the city when she was taking her vacation time once, and now he's dead, because even the power of friendship and redemption can't save you if you interrupt her rare vacations

Demon Queen Eluria: Gonna fill the city people's hearts with hatred on thursday to cause mayhem and discord.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Can't, got a PTA meeting.

Demon Queen Eluria: Friday?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: A birthday party.

Demon Queen Eluria: Damn. How about I fill just the mayor's heart with hatred then?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: That'd be redundant, lol. Maybe fill his heart with a desire to fix the fucking potholes?!

Demon Queen Eluria: LMFAO love you, bitch. Stay strong.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: You too, gurl. How's the husband? Still dead?

Demon Queen Eluria: Yep. Thanks for that, btw.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Don't mess with my time off :p

Why are people tagging this '#wonder sparkle princess' like that's a thing and not a name I made up exclusively for this post?

no, they actually do mean kites

as in, a loooooooooong piece of steel cable with the sail at the end of it

of course it's ~basically a sailing ship~ but you can't stick masts on a container ship, that is a disaster waiting to happen for so many reasons

you'd only really get one point to anchor the mast, and that is right where it meets the deck, the containers get it the way of any ropes you might wish to use further up

you'd have to build entirely new container ships or some sort of ... mast container frame to account for the fact that the ships are built to exactly fit the containers, and sticking a mast in the middle of it will mess with that entire system by not being the size of a container

loading and unloading around the masts is going to be hell for the crane drivers and there will be damage to everything given the speed they usually work with, so every harbor will hate you if their cranes even have the height to work around the masts

and if you still decide to stick masts on a container ship, they won't be easily and quickly removeable, so you have to recertify and reclassify the entire ship, and it's going to take ages and ages to do properly, and they'll have to figure out how to do it so it's either expensive as fuck or they may refuse entirely. a steel cable on a winch is by definition removeable (that is, uh, uprollable?) so you don't have to deal with any of this nonsense. hell, if you calculate the pre-determined breaking point properly, it'll even fail safely

this isn't ~ooooooooooh we invented sails! we're the smartest~

this is "hey, we finally figured out how to do this tried and tested thing in a way that works with the circumstances we're working under". it's a good thing, even if it is presented badly

Thank-you for that info ^ because this is very heartening then. Transport really is so awful rn in what it’s doing to our atmosphere. Looked this up and this is actually a really neat prospect for the planet if it gets implemented.

oh that is very cool actually!! i fully retract my reactionary bullshit meme in favor of the new information, thank you :D

Okay yeah this is actually super awesome and I really hope it becomes the new norm

Marks and Rec: Misc #2572

They'd be in cahoots; they're always in cahoots. (Dialogue from AIapalucci on twitter.)

This read so much like a real conversation between them I had to double-check who posted it

literally die

Everyone knows it's that time of year when many people feel compelled to set goals to alter their body and restrict their food. The pressure to be thin is everywhere---it's the water we swim in. If you want to take care of your body, I hope this is the year you learn more about weight-neutral approaches to health! The Health At Every Size movement and books by fat activist Aubrey Gordon are great places to start!

haha ❤️ hilarious post my friend! *eyes narrow and my face goes stone serious* but it does not resonate with my own ideological schema, so i shall not be reblogging it

100 is kind of a lot for "quantity of Koroks who tried to go camping but coincidentally all got too tired to move", so here's my personal headcanon:

There is one (1) Korok who actually tried to join his friends in camping and see post-Upheaval Hyrule, but got too tired to move and needed to be rescued by Mr. Hero.

And as soon as you rescued him, he told everyone in Korok Forest about how the cool, brave, awesome Mr. Hero personally hand-carried him to his friend.

So now every time a set of camping Koroks spots Mr. Hero in the distance, they get really excited and rock-paper-scissors over who gets to race ahead and flop in front of the hero like a puppy who doesn't want to leave the dog park, claiming they can't move and need to be carried.

"History won't care about your pronouns" my ass

coworker: wait you guys know about the Public Universal Friend, right? they were such a nonbinary icon, truly

me: oh yeah! they- shit, I mean the Friend-

coworker 2: wait what?

me: oh, the Friend didn't like any pronouns at all

coworker 1: right! thanks for reminding me! sorry about that; I forgot

me: no, it's easy to forget when talking about the Friend

coworker 2: where did the Friend start the Friend's church again?